I'm glad of this opportunity to write the lowdown on Mary Livingstone, because at home or on the air I never get the chance to say anything. There's a gal that always has to have the last word, and trouble is, it's usually funny.
Yes, Mary and I have our differences, but about the only time we ever really clash is on Wednesday night. As far as I'm concerned the only good thing about that program is Kenny Baker, who, incidentally. has a higher IQ than Fred Allen. Now don't think I have anything against Fred personally -- I just can't stand him. If Mary tunes in on him next week I'm going to take the earphones and run 'em through the meat grinder. (Well, I guess I should wish Freddie a Merry Christmas. That's the trouble with me, I'm not a louse.)
But getting back to Mary, she loves to entertain. And I think she should -- I like to have people in, too. Incidentally, Bob Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck have been at our house seven times this month. We've been to their house only three times and the month is nearly over. I wouldn't mind that so much, but Taylor eats like a horse. I don't know how he keeps his figure.
Another thing, Mary always tries to give the impression that I'm tight. Well, I'll tell you something about her. When I was making Charley's Aunt, she wouldn't even lend me a girdle. I had to go out and buy one! And I needed it for only eight weeks. Oh well, I'll think. of some way to use it now.
Anyhow, there's one thing I can say for Mary -- she's not the least bit jealous. She was out at the Korda studio watching me do a very passionate love scene with Carole Lombard the other day, and when I kissed Carole Mary just laughed and laughed. Clark Gable was standing there and he laughed too. I'm glad that Mary and Clark aren't narrow-minded.
Guess that's about all for now. I've got to go out and get my Christmas tree. I've got a swell one picked out. Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.
Jack Benny in Movie-Radio Guide, December 20, 1941
All comments are moderated before publication. These HTML tags are permitted: <p>, <b>, <i>, <a>, and <blockquote>.